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| nora_m-p [2026/01/25 12:09] – [Nora's family and early career] judith | nora_m-p [2026/01/25 21:45] (current) – judith |
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| All photos, unless otherwise stated, are from Nora's photo album.((Provenance: J. Godden.))\\ | All photos, unless otherwise stated, are from Nora's photo album.((Provenance: J. Godden.))\\ |
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| On 18 December 1872, a little over four years after Matilda died, the widowed TLM-P married again.((//Sydney Morning Herald//, 19 December 1872)) His second wife was Nora Clarina Barton (3 December 1846-12 May 1931).((She was baptised on 10 February 1847 according to Emily Mary Barton's family bible, Jeremy Long to J. Godden 6 May 1993. Nora's baptismal sponsors, according to the same source, were her uncle and aunt Nathaniel and Honoria Barton, and her father's cousin Lady Clarina (nee Susan Elizabeth Barton 1819-86, daughter of Hugh Barton who managed the family's Bordeaux wineries. Susan Barton married a distant cousin Eyre Massy who succeeded to the Irish title of [[wp>Baron_Clarina|Baron Clarina]] in 1810.)) Her stepdaughter Rosa Praed described Nora as tall and placid,((Helen Woolcock et al, '"My beloved chloroform': Attitudes to Childbearing in Colonial Queensland', Social History of Medicine Journal,p.440)) but her correspondence suggests that, while ultimately pragmatic, there was a great deal of introspection and emotional turmoil behind her calm surface.\\ | On 18 December 1872, a little over four years after Matilda died, the widowed TLM-P married again.((//Sydney Morning Herald//, 19 December 1872)) His second wife was Nora Clarina Barton (3 December 1846-12 May 1931). Her unusual second name was due to one of her godmothers. According to her mother's family bible, Nora was baptised on 10 February 1847 with her godparents listed in the bible as her uncle and aunt Nathaniel and Honoria Barton, and her father's cousin Lady Clarina.((Jeremy Long to J. Godden, 6 May 1993, about the Barton family bible)) The latter was nee Susan Elizabeth Barton 1819-86, daughter of Hugh Barton who managed the family's Bordeaux wineries. Susan Barton married a distant cousin Eyre Massy who succeeded to the Irish title of [[wp>Baron_Clarina|Baron Clarina]] in 1810.\\ |
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| It was common for colonial widowers to remarry within five years of their first wife's death, and to marry younger single women.((Peter McDonald and Patricia Quiggin, 'Lifecourse transitions in Victoria in the 1880s', //Families in Colonial Australia// ed. P. Grimshaw, C. McConville and Ellen McEwen, Sydney: George Allen & Unwin, 1985, pp.74-75.)) But in this case, the age difference was at the extremes. Nora was 27 years younger than her husband and only two years older than her eldest stepson. It was not an easy relationship for any of the family to manage, but it appears to have worked. \\ | It was common for colonial widowers to remarry within five years of their first wife's death, and to marry younger single women.((Peter McDonald and Patricia Quiggin, 'Lifecourse transitions in Victoria in the 1880s', //Families in Colonial Australia// ed. P. Grimshaw, C. McConville and Ellen McEwen, Sydney: George Allen & Unwin, 1985, pp.74-75.)) But in this case, the age difference was at the extremes. Nora was 27 years younger than her husband and only two years older than her eldest stepson. It was not an easy relationship for any of the family to manage, but it appears to have worked. It helped that Nora gave, to her eldest stepdaughter Rosa Praed at least, the impression of being placid,((Helen Woolcock et al, '"My beloved chloroform': Attitudes to Childbearing in Colonial Queensland', Social History of Medicine Journal,p.440)) although her correspondence suggests that, while ultimately pragmatic, there was a great deal of introspection and emotional turmoil behind her calm surface.\\ |
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| TLM-P at the time of his second marriage: {{:tlmp_hairy.jpg?250|}} {{:nora_cm-p.jpg?250|}} Nora at a similar time. Her Superintendent of Nursing/Matron at Sydney Hospital, {{https://sydneyuniversitypress.com.au/products/78882|Lucy Osburn}}, wrote in 1873 thanking 'Sister Nora' for sending her photo: from the description, it was this one.((It is wrongly identified as TLM-P's mother Eliza Skynner M-P by State Library of Queensland.)) All surviving photos of her, like this one, were formal ones taken in a photography studio. She dressed with precision and propriety and, perhaps, her cap and relatively sober style was a deliberate attempt to minimise the appearance of the age difference between her and TLM-P.\\ | TLM-P at the time of his second marriage: {{:tlmp_hairy.jpg?250|}} {{:nora_cm-p.jpg?250|}} Nora at a similar time. Her Superintendent of Nursing/Matron at Sydney Hospital, {{https://sydneyuniversitypress.com.au/products/78882|Lucy Osburn}}, wrote in 1873 thanking 'Sister Nora' for sending her photo: from the description, it was this one.((It is wrongly identified as TLM-P's mother Eliza Skynner M-P by State Library of Queensland.)) All surviving photos of her, like this one, were formal ones taken in a photography studio. She dressed with precision and propriety and, perhaps, her cap and relatively sober style was a deliberate attempt to minimise the appearance of the age difference between her and TLM-P. Both were described as tall.\\ |
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| Part of Nora's success as a second wife and stepmother was that, as evidenced by her writings, she consistently showed concern for all the family and not just her own children. She also forged a strong friendship with TLM-P's eldest daughter Rosa Praed, helped by them navigating motherhood together and common literary interests. Nora's ability to adapt to new circumstances was boosted by her having had a much less sheltered life than most middle-class women in the Victorian age.\\ | Part of Nora's success as a second wife and stepmother was her adaptability, boosted by her having had a much less sheltered life than many middle-class women in the Victorian age.\\ |
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| ===== Nora's family and early career ===== | ==== Nora's family and early life ==== |
| Nora's parents were Emily Mary Barton (nee Darvall) and Robert Johnston Barton. Matilda and Nora had one thing in common: their fathers were both not-very-successful graziers. Robert Barton's property, where Nora was born, was Boree Nyrang near Orange in western NSW.((David Rutherford, //Boree Nyrang: the story of a property and a family home// Forster: David Rutherford, c.1998.)) Like TLM-P, Nora's parents had migrated in an attempt to recover their family fortunes. In Nora's case, a grandfather had reputedly been a friend of the Prince Regent (later [[wp>George_IV_of_the_United_Kingdom|King George IV]]), whose extravagant lifestyle and gambling tended to be beyond even his own royal means let alone that of his cronies.((TLM-P, Diary, 27 June 1882)) Nora was one of Emily and Robert's 10 children, one of whom died in infancy. Her mother Emily was left with the responsibility of the children when, in 1863, Robert died unexpectedly. Emily consequently sold the property and moved to Gladesville in Sydney where she lived for the rest of her life.((Judith Godden,//The Matriarch of Rockend: Emily Mary Barton, more than Banjo Paterson’s grandmother//, Ryde History Series No.13, Ryde District Historical Society, 2021.[[http://www.rydehistory.org.au/our-published-works/]]))\\ | Nora's parents were Emily Mary Barton (nee Darvall) and Robert Johnston Barton. Matilda and Nora had one thing in common: their fathers were both not-very-successful graziers. Robert Barton's property, where Nora was born, was Boree Nyrang near Orange in western NSW.((David Rutherford, //Boree Nyrang: the story of a property and a family home// Forster: David Rutherford, c.1998.)) Like TLM-P, Nora's parents had migrated in an attempt to recover their family fortunes. In Nora's case, a grandfather had reputedly been a friend of the Prince Regent (later [[wp>George_IV_of_the_United_Kingdom|King George IV]]), whose extravagant lifestyle and gambling tended to be beyond even his own royal means let alone that of his cronies.((TLM-P, Diary, 27 June 1882)) Nora was one of Emily and Robert's 10 children, one of whom died in infancy. Her mother Emily was left with the responsibility of the children when, in 1863, Robert died unexpectedly. Emily consequently sold the property and moved to Gladesville in Sydney where she lived for the rest of her life.((Judith Godden,//The Matriarch of Rockend: Emily Mary Barton, more than Banjo Paterson’s grandmother//, Ryde History Series No.13, Ryde District Historical Society, 2021.[[http://www.rydehistory.org.au/our-published-works/]]))\\ |
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| It was fortunate that Nora's mother Emily was exceptionally capable as she was just 45 years old when widowed with the care of nine children ranging in age from 22 to 7 years old. Nora and her siblings were, like Matilda Harpur, intellectually and artistically inclined. Perhaps out of necessity, Nora's sisters and mother were independently-minded. In particular, Nora's sister Emily Susan Paterson was an especially gifted artist who exhibited prominently.((Judith Godden,//The Matriarch of Rockend: Emily Mary Barton, more than Banjo Paterson’s grandmother//, Ryde History Series No.13, Ryde District Historical Society, 2021.[[http://www.rydehistory.org.au/our-published-works/]])) It was thanks to the early education the children received from Emily that they were familiar with European culture and languages including some Latin, French and German. Amongst Nora's books there is a bible in German given to her father in 1836. Nora's German was good enough for her to inherit it, writing in it in 1865 in German.((Provenance: J. Godden.)) Later a published poet, Emily also passed on to her children her passion for poetry. Nora's papers include manuscript versions of poems, including 'Australia', a patriotic poem sent to her by the then well-known Queensland poet, [[http://adb.anu.edu.au/biography/evans-george-essex-6121|George Evans Essex.]]((M-P family papers, NLA, Box 7, folder 42.)) Her 'commonplace' notebook, written when she was a Sister at Sydney Infirmary, is full of poems and hymns largely by the romantic poets of her day plus, Colin Roderick suggests, some of her own. It also includes some sketches, including a beautiful - but incomplete - one of a bird.((M-P family papers, NLA MS 7801, folder 24.)) It is significant that Rosa Praed, when commending her stepsister Ruth's literary talent, supposed that Ruth had inherited her talent from Nora.((M-P family papers, NLA, Box 1, folder 2, Rosa to Ruth, 20 April 1914.))\\ | It was fortunate that Nora's mother Emily was exceptionally capable as she was just 45 years old when widowed with the care of nine children ranging in age from 22 to 7 years old. Nora and her siblings were, like Matilda Harpur, intellectually and artistically inclined. Perhaps out of necessity, Nora's sisters and mother were independently-minded. In particular, Nora's sister Emily Susan Paterson was an especially gifted artist who exhibited prominently.((Judith Godden,//The Matriarch of Rockend: Emily Mary Barton, more than Banjo Paterson’s grandmother//, Ryde History Series No.13, Ryde District Historical Society, 2021.[[http://www.rydehistory.org.au/our-published-works/]])) \\ |
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| Colonial-born Nora was profoundly influenced by a trip 'home' to visit relatives in England from early 1866 to late 1868.((TLM-P, Diary, 21 August 1882, ML)) Her mother gave her a bible to take with her, inscribed 'Nora C. Barton with her Mother's Farewell Blessings February 25 1866 XIII Heb. 20 & 21 v.' That biblical text exhorted her to retain her confidence in her faith. Nora added her own prayer, 'For what we are going to receive the Lord make us truly happy. For what we have received the Lord make us truly happy'.((Provenance: J. Godden)) Confirmation of her trip also comes from a 14 February 1876 letter from her brother Charlie, saying that he was thinking of 'taking a run to England soon' and asking for 'the benefit of your experiences in the old country' as well as letters of introduction 'to the right sort'.((Information from Jeremy Long, letter to J. Godden, 6 May 1993; She was one of the signatories of a letter thanking the captain of their ship [[wp>La_Hogue_(1855)|La Hogue]] for a safe journey from London to Sydney, published in //The Sydney Morning Herald//, 6 November 1868, p.4.))\\ | It was thanks to the early education that Nora and her siblings received from Emily that she was a gifted writer. A play written by Nora was partly about an 'Admission of Female Members [of Parliament] Bill': Professor of English Colin Roderick commented that, while only part survives, 'her talent is clear'.((M-P papers, NLA, Box ...)) Nora and the other children were also brought up to be familiar with European culture and languages including some Latin, French and German. Amongst Nora's books there is a bible in German given to her father in 1836. Nora's German was good enough for her to inherit it, writing in it in 1865 in German.((Provenance: J. Godden.)) Later a published poet, Emily also passed on to her children her passion for poetry. Nora's papers include manuscript versions of poems, including 'Australia', a patriotic poem sent to her by the then well-known Queensland poet, [[http://adb.anu.edu.au/biography/evans-george-essex-6121|George Evans Essex.]]((M-P family papers, NLA, Box 7, folder 42.)) Her 'commonplace' notebook, written when she was a Sister at Sydney Infirmary, is full of poems and hymns largely by the romantic poets of her day plus, Colin Roderick suggests, some of her own. It also includes some sketches, including a beautiful - but incomplete - one of a bird.((M-P family papers, NLA MS 7801, folder 24.)) 7, folder 42.)) It is significant that Rosa Praed, when commending her stepsister Ruth's literary talent, supposed that Ruth had inherited her talent from Nora.((M-P family papers, NLA, Box 1, folder 2, Rosa to Ruth, 20 April 1914.))\\ |
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| | Nora was interested in women's rights, and keen that her daughters have more options than marriage, but more pragmatic than radical. She wrote to Rosa that:'I feel so certain that the nineteenth century will not stand such iniquities much longer than every time I go on a voyage I feel (as) a man might do who was going to have his leg cut off in the year before chloroform was invented & who foresaw the invention.. Til I get my cabin to myself I don't mean to agitate about my vote or my seat in parliament - which I can get along very well without'.((Nora M-P to Rosa Praed, 25 April 1875 (or 1874?), Praed papers QJO, box 4.))\\ |
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| | Colonial-born Nora was profoundly influenced by a trip 'home' to visit relatives in England from early 1866 to late 1868.((TLM-P, Diary, 21 August 1882, ML)) Her mother gave her a bible to take with her, inscribed 'Nora C. Barton with her Mother's Farewell Blessings February 25 1866 XIII Heb. 20 & 21 v.' That biblical text exhorted her to retain her confidence in her faith. Nora added her own prayer, 'For what we are going to receive the Lord make us truly happy. For what we have received the Lord make us truly happy'.((Provenance: J. Godden)) For more on Nora's views on religion, see Howard Le Couteur.((‘Brisbane Anglicans, 1842–1875’, PhD thesis, Macquarie University, 2007, ch.6.)) Confirmation of her trip also comes from a 14 February 1876 letter from her brother Charlie, saying that he was thinking of 'taking a run to England soon' and asking for 'the benefit of your experiences in the old country' as well as letters of introduction 'to the right sort'.((Information from Jeremy Long, letter to J. Godden, 6 May 1993; She was one of the signatories of a letter thanking the captain of their ship [[wp>La_Hogue_(1855)|La Hogue]] for a safe journey from London to Sydney, published in //The Sydney Morning Herald//, 6 November 1868, p.4.))\\ |
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| Modern nursing influenced by Florence Nightingale was formally introduced to the Australian colonies by Lucy Osburn at Sydney Infirmary (Hospital) in March 1868. The next year, after her return from England, Nora began training as a Sister Probationer under Lucy Osburn. She stayed until early 1972 and remained friends with Lucy Osburn for the rest of her life. For more about Nora's career as one of the first Sisters at Sydney Hospital to be trained under {{https://sydneyuniversitypress.com.au/products/78882|Lucy Osburn}} in the Nightingale system of nursing, see Judith Godden, “‘Be good sweet maid’: Sister Probationer Nora Barton at the Sydney Infirmary, 1869-72’, //Labour History//, 80, 2001, pp.141-56. As a trained nursing Sister, Nora had more options than most women, and apparently weighed up marrying TLM-P against going to India perhaps as a missionary healthcare worker/nurse, like her mentor Lucy Osburn had originally planned to do.((TLM-P, Diary 17 July 1882, ML)) \\ | Modern nursing influenced by Florence Nightingale was formally introduced to the Australian colonies by Lucy Osburn at Sydney Infirmary (Hospital) in March 1868. The next year, after her return from England, Nora began training as a Sister Probationer under Lucy Osburn. She stayed until early 1972 and remained friends with Lucy Osburn for the rest of her life. For more about Nora's career as one of the first Sisters at Sydney Hospital to be trained under {{https://sydneyuniversitypress.com.au/products/78882|Lucy Osburn}} in the Nightingale system of nursing, see Judith Godden, “‘Be good sweet maid’: Sister Probationer Nora Barton at the Sydney Infirmary, 1869-72’, //Labour History//, 80, 2001, pp.141-56. As a trained nursing Sister, Nora had more options than most women, and apparently weighed up marrying TLM-P against going to India perhaps as a missionary healthcare worker/nurse, like her mentor Lucy Osburn had originally planned to do.((TLM-P, Diary 17 July 1882, ML)) \\ |
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| ===== Queensland Connections ===== | ==== Queensland Connections ==== |
| Like Matilda, Nora had numerous family connections in Queensland - which probably explains how she and TLM-P met. The likelihood of their meeting was enhanced by Queensland's small European population: at the time of their marriage there were just under 72,000 living there.((Vamplew, Wray (ed.), //Australians. Historical Statistics//, Sydney: Fairfax, Syme & Weldon Associates, 1987, p.27)) Perhaps the most important for Nora was her younger sister Georgiana (Georgie) who also married a Queenslander, in a double wedding with Nora and TLM-P. Georgie's husband was Henry Martin, a cashier in the Queensland railways who, after their marriage, worked in Rockhampton.((TLM-P, Diary, 5 July 1882, ML; St Anne's Church of England, Ryde Parish Register, microfilm Society of Australian Genealogists.)) He resigned c.1880-81 to move to England, with a shadow over his reputation when shortly after his departure from Queensland, he could not account for cheques totalling £740 (worth around $115,012 in 2017 values). For more, click on [[Martins]] when TLM-P visited them in [[tlm-p_s_diaries|1882]].((Introduction, Praed papers, JOLQ, p.5; Nora M-P letters, 1880, JOLQ)) \\ | Like Matilda, Nora had numerous family connections in Queensland - which probably explains how she and TLM-P met. The likelihood of their meeting was enhanced by Queensland's small European population: at the time of their marriage there were just under 72,000 living there.((Vamplew, Wray (ed.), //Australians. Historical Statistics//, Sydney: Fairfax, Syme & Weldon Associates, 1987, p.27)) Perhaps the most important for Nora was her younger sister Georgiana (Georgie) who also married a Queenslander, in a double wedding with Nora and TLM-P. Georgie's husband was Henry Martin, a cashier in the Queensland railways who, after their marriage, worked in Rockhampton.((TLM-P, Diary, 5 July 1882, ML; St Anne's Church of England, Ryde Parish Register, microfilm Society of Australian Genealogists.)) He resigned c.1880-81 to move to England, with a shadow over his reputation when shortly after his departure from Queensland, he could not account for cheques totalling £740 (worth around $115,012 in 2017 values). For more, click on [[Martins]] when TLM-P visited them in [[tlm-p_s_diaries|1882]].((Introduction, Praed papers, JOLQ, p.5; Nora M-P letters, 1880, JOLQ)) \\ |
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| Nora may have had another family link to TLM-P: possibly her uncle (from 1877, Sir) [[http://adb.anu.edu.au/biography/darvall-sir-john-bayley-3370|John Darvall]] had been educated by the [[tlm-p_s_childhood|Rev. William Drury]], as had TLM-P.((The //Australian Dictionary of Biography// states that John Darvall was educated at Eton, but Isobel Hannah claimed that he was educated by Drury, Isobel Hannah, 'The Royal Descent of the First Postmaster-General of Queensland', //Queensland Geographical Journal//, vol. LV, 1953-54, p.11. Possibly both statements are correct.))\\ | Nora may have had another family link to TLM-P: possibly her uncle (from 1877, Sir) [[http://adb.anu.edu.au/biography/darvall-sir-john-bayley-3370|John Darvall]] had been educated by the [[tlm-p_s_childhood|Rev. William Drury]], as had TLM-P.((The //Australian Dictionary of Biography// states that John Darvall was educated at Eton, but Isobel Hannah claimed that he was educated by Drury, Isobel Hannah, 'The Royal Descent of the First Postmaster-General of Queensland', //Queensland Geographical Journal//, vol. LV, 1953-54, p.11. Possibly both statements are correct.))\\ |
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| ==== The marriage ==== | ==== Marriage ==== |
| TLM-P had a strong need to remarry: to provide a stepmother for his eight surviving children, the youngest of whom (Egerton) was 6 years old. Yet Nora's maternal suitability was not his only consideration. There is a letter from TLM-P to Nora nine days before they married - handle it carefully as it is still smoking with passion! TLM-P's letter was desperate as it appears Nora had cold feet, most likely because she became aware of his illegitimate children: he implored her to have faith in him as a husband, underlining 'I love you. I want you'.((M-P family papers, NLA MS 7801, Special Set 14, folder 20)) She believed him enough to go ahead with their wedding at St Anne's Church of England,[[wp>Ryde,_New_South_Wales| Ryde]] on 18 December 1872. One of the witnesses to the wedding was TLM-P's daughter Lizzie.((BDM, registration number 3393/1872; St Anne' Parish Register, microfilm 0110, Society of Australian Genealogists.)) The day before, TLM-P signed a marriage settlement ensuring her an income in widowhood, with her two sisters' husbands as trustees.((TLM-P, Last will and testament, 1892. As noted above, after Henry Martin moved to England with a cloud over his reputation, TLM-P got him to renounce his role as trustee ((Diary 5 July 1882, ML.))\\ | TLM-P had a strong need to remarry: to provide a stepmother for his eight surviving children, the youngest of whom (Egerton) was 6 years old. Yet Nora's maternal suitability was not his only consideration. There is a letter from TLM-P to Nora nine days before they married - handle it carefully as it is still smoking with passion! TLM-P's letter was desperate as it appears Nora had cold feet, most likely because she became aware of his illegitimate children: he implored her to have faith in him as a husband, underlining 'I love you. I want you'.((M-P family papers, NLA MS 7801, Special Set 14, folder 20)) She believed him enough to go ahead with their wedding at St Anne's Church of England,[[wp>Ryde,_New_South_Wales| Ryde]] on 18 December 1872. One of the witnesses to the wedding was TLM-P's daughter Lizzie.((BDM, registration number 3393/1872; St Anne' Parish Register, microfilm 0110, Society of Australian Genealogists.)) The day before, TLM-P signed a marriage settlement ensuring her an income in widowhood, with her two sisters' husbands as trustees.((TLM-P, Last will and testament, 1892. As noted above, after Henry Martin moved to England with a cloud over his reputation, TLM-P got him to renounce his role as trustee ((Diary 5 July 1882, ML.))\\ |
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| TLM-P's will, made in 1892, the year he died, is further evidence of his love and care for Nora. With Australia in the midst of a deep depression, there was valid concern that his assets could not cover his bequests: in that case, he stipulated that Nora's portion be paid first, if necessary proportionally reducing his children's inheritance. Further, his provision for his wife was generous: he gave her a choice between continuing with her marriage settlement, or accepting £10,000 (roughly equivalent to $1,427,346 in 2017 values) instead. In both cases, the money was to be invested for her by trustees.((TLM-P, Last will and testament, copy in possession of J. Godden; Thom Blake, how much is it worth? http://www.thomblake.com.au/secondary/hisdata/calculate.php)) She chose to accept the £10,000, but unfortunately it took a court case to insist that the trustees, including her brother Charles (Charlie) Barton, should set aside the money and invest for her benefit - perhaps because of the poor economic conditions they had not sold the properties necessary to raise the money. As well, as the court pointed out, if the trustees invested unwisely, Nora's income was 'liable to be diminished or totally lost'.((Supreme Court of Queensland, no 166, judgement 3 November 1905; TLM-P, Last will and testament, 1892; both copies held by J. Godden.)) When she died in 1931, probate on Nora's estate was £1,770/6/4 and it was recorded that her income included a £500 annuity from her late husband's estate. That amounted to a payment of around £20,000 over 40 years.((Probate for Nora Clarina Murray-Prior, no.176840, 19 October 1931, State Archives, copy held by J. Godden))\\ | TLM-P's will, made in 1892, the year he died, is further evidence of his love and care for Nora. With Australia in the midst of a deep depression, there was valid concern that his assets could not cover his bequests: in that case, he stipulated that Nora's portion be paid first, if necessary proportionally reducing his children's inheritance. Further, his provision for his wife was generous: he gave her a choice between continuing with her marriage settlement, or accepting £10,000 (roughly equivalent to $1,427,346 in 2017 values) instead. In both cases, the money was to be invested for her by trustees.((TLM-P, Last will and testament, copy in possession of J. Godden; Thom Blake, how much is it worth? http://www.thomblake.com.au/secondary/hisdata/calculate.php)) She chose to accept the £10,000, but unfortunately it took a court case to insist that the trustees, including her brother Charles (Charlie) Barton, should set aside the money and invest for her benefit - perhaps because of the poor economic conditions they had not sold the properties necessary to raise the money. As well, as the court pointed out, if the trustees invested unwisely, Nora's income was 'liable to be diminished or totally lost'.((Supreme Court of Queensland, no 166, judgement 3 November 1905; TLM-P, Last will and testament, 1892; both copies held by J. Godden.)) When she died in 1931, probate on Nora's estate was £1,770/6/4 and it was recorded that her income included a £500 annuity from her late husband's estate. That amounted to a payment of around £20,000 over 40 years.((Probate for Nora Clarina Murray-Prior, no.176840, 19 October 1931, State Archives, copy held by J. Godden))\\ |
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| While the marriage was basically happy, the generation gap did not help TLM-P understand the difficulties Nora experienced while pregnant. A reasonable assumption is that Matilda, at least before she contracted tuberculosis, was well throughout her pregnancies, had little trouble breastfeeding her babies, and accepted almost annual pregnancies as God's will. Nora's experience of pregnancy and early motherhood, and her attitude towards having a large number of children, was starkly different. Nora was generally unwell when pregnant, writing to her friend and stepdaughter Rosa that TLM-P had 'no sympathy' with her misery during that time. While she (and her sister Rose) resented constant pregnancies over which they had no control, TLM-P 'only gets cross with me ... looks upon it as a sign [of a] free thinking tendency and want of faith' in providence. TLM-P's attitude was that of an older generation of pioneers - a prejudice against 'weedy wives' and a firm belief that a woman's 'chief delight' should be having children and raising her family.((Helen Woolcock et al, '"My beloved chloroform': Attitudes to Childbearing in Colonial Queensland', //Social History of Medicine Journal//, p.443, citing Nora to Rosa, 15 June [1884].)) He thought, Nora complained to Rosa, that 'one ought to feel grateful for what providence sends, even tho’ it costs one’s health, strength and life' (as, she didn't need to add, it had for Rosa's mother).((Nora to Rosa, 16 May [1881])) For more on Nora's views on religion, see Howard Le Couteur.((‘Brisbane Anglicans, 1842–1875’, PhD thesis, Macquarie University, 2007, ch.6.)) In contrast, Nora believed that human acts not providence caused so many pregnancies - why hold providence responsible for 'what we take such a large share in bringing about?'.((Nora to Rosa, 16 May 1881, JOL))\\ | One cause of tension for Nora was that, while she loved //Maroon// and rural life, she needed intellectual stimulation - and she found little of that in rural Queensland. She wrote to Rosa that, if Rosa visited them, she could expect to '//feel the relief of getting away from the tear and the turmoil of life to the dignity and silence of primeval nature - and that when you leave us again you will feel quite satisfied that your lot has been cast in a place where your wits can be polished and kept bright by friction with others instead of growing shrivelled and worm eaten thro lying by ... At least I have never met anyone yet who having tasted the world, could satisfy themselves afterwards with nature.//'((Nora M-P to Rosa Praed, 20 February 1881, Praed papers, QJO)) Nora had 'tasted the world' sufficiently for this comment to read as personally applicable. Two years later, with the responsibility of bringing up children at //Maroon//, she lamented to Rosa that her brain had been reduced to 'a compound of butter and jam'.((Nora M-P to Rosa Praed, 5 February 1883, M-P papers, JOQ, OM81-71.)) \\ |
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| As Nora's views sharpened as the size of the already-large family increased, it is fortunate that TLM-P finally accepted that she had very different views on maternity from him and Matilda (and his daughter Lizzie). He eventually, she wrote to Rosa, accepted that she was not 'his ideal woman' in that sense.((Nora to Rosa, 3 December 1883)) Time was also on Nora's side. She was not alone in her attitude. Despite no equally significant advances in contraception, family size would soon plummet as women demanded control over their own fertility. Married women born in the same decade as Nora had an average of 6.8 children; those born 30 years later had 4.2 children; those born a further 30 years, in 1903-08, averaged 2.6 children. Given there was no significant advance in contraception at the time, contemporaries and historians agree that the drop was due to women's demand to limit their childbearing.((Peter McDonald, Lado Ruzicka and Patricia Pine, ‘Marriage, fertility and Mortality’, in //Australians. Historical Statistics//, ed. W. Vamplew, Sydney: Fairfax, Syme & Weldon, 1987, p.42.)) Despite their different outlooks, TLM-P tried to be supportive during the repeated pregnancies which Nora found so hard. His attitude was, as he wrote to her circa 1880, 'Don't fret. Keep well & do what you like.'((M-P family papers, NLA MS 7801, 14/71.)) \\ | |
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| Another cause of tension was that, while Nora loved //Maroon//, she also loved intellectual stimulation - and she found little of that in rural Queensland. She wrote to Rosa that, if Rosa visited them, she could expect to '//feel the relief of getting away from the tear and the turmoil of life to the dignity and silence of primeval nature - and that when you leave us again you will feel quite satisfied that your lot has been cast in a place where your wits can be polished and kept bright by friction with others instead of growing shrivelled and worm eaten thro lying by ... At least I have never met anyone yet who having tasted the world, could satisfy themselves afterwards with nature.//'((Nora M-P to Rosa Praed, 20 February 1881, Praed papers, QJO)) Nora had 'tasted the world' sufficiently for this comment to read as personally applicable. Two years later, with the responsibility of bringing up children at //Maroon//, she lamented to Rosa that her brain had been reduced to 'a compound of butter and jam'.((Nora M-P to Rosa Praed, 5 February 1883, M-P papers, JOQ, OM81-71.)) \\ | |
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| Nora wrote on the back of this next photo that it was her, aged 36 years & 6 months, i.e. in mid-1882.((There is also a copy of this photo in the ML, R.J.Paterson album, PXE1709)){{ :nora_1882.jpg?250|}} For other photos of her, from her husband's album, click on [[Nora photos]].\\ | Nora wrote on the back of this next photo that it was her, aged 36 years & 6 months, i.e. in mid-1882.((There is also a copy of this photo in the ML, R.J.Paterson album, PXE1709)){{ :nora_1882.jpg?250|}} For other photos of her, from her husband's album, click on [[Nora photos]].\\ |
| 8. Ruth Angela, 27 July 1885-15 August 1961. \\ | 8. Ruth Angela, 27 July 1885-15 August 1961. \\ |
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| Nora was stepmother to the eight children who survived from TLM-P's first marriage to Matilda Harpur and, as shown above, eight children of her own. She presents as a loving stepmother and mother. It is significant that the level-headed eldest son of the family, Thomas de M. M-P, appreciated his youthful stepmother. One piece of evidence is a two-volume book by the explorer Henry Stanley,((//Through the Dark Continent//, London, 1878. Provenance: J. Godden.)) which he gave to Nora with, as he wrote in them, his 'best love'. Nora also demonstrated her goodwill when she named her first daughter Matilda. Her choice of second name Aimee (meaning beloved) could apply to both Matildas.\\ | ===== Stepchildren ===== |
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| | As well as having these eight children of her own, seven of whom survived infancy, Nora was stepmother to the eight surviving children from TLM-P's first marriage to Matilda Harpur - making 15 in total. The older stepchildren were a similar age to Nora. While many of these children had significant problems as adults, notably alcoholism, her relations with them were generally positive. It is significant that the level-headed eldest son of the family, Thomas de M. M-P, appreciated his stepmother. One piece of evidence is a two-volume book by the explorer Henry Stanley,((//Through the Dark Continent//, London, 1878. Provenance: J. Godden.)) which he gave to Nora with, as he wrote in them, his 'best love'. Nora also demonstrated her goodwill when she named her first daughter Matilda (always called Meta). Her choice of second name Aimee (meaning beloved) could apply to both Matildas. It is probably no coincidence that, a year after Nora did so, her eldest stepdaughter Rosa Praed also called her first-born Matilda (always called Maud). Rosa and Nora bonded over common interests including a love of literature and a distaste for constant childbirth. Nora, as with others in the family, welcomed Rosa's gifts of her latest book, no matter how controversial. They corresponded regularly and intimately, with 66 of Nora's letters to 'My dearest Rosie' surviving - sadly, Rosa's to Nora haven't survived. Nora's love for Rosa was passed on to Dorothy and Ruth, her two youngest daughters. In their letters, Rosie was 'Dearest Rosie' and they signed themselves 'Your loving sister'. ((M-P family papers, NLA, Box 4, folder 26.))\\ |
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| | ==== Pregnancies ==== |
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| | While Nora was basically happy in her marriage, the generation gap did not help TLM-P understand the difficulties she experienced while pregnant. A reasonable assumption is that Matilda, at least before she contracted tuberculosis, had a similar attitude and experience as her daughter Lizzie. That is, she was well throughout her pregnancies, had little trouble breastfeeding, and accepted almost annual pregnancies as God's will. Nora's experience of pregnancy and early motherhood was starkly different. Nora was generally unwell when pregnant, writing to her Rosa that TLM-P had 'no sympathy' with her misery during that time. Neither woman wished for more than one or two children, with Nora writing: 'Though I can well understand your not wanting any more [children] & trust fervently that if my No. 2 arrives safely, it may prove the last, my precious little Meta flourishes & grows more lovable & clever every day.'\\ |
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| Nora's eldest stepdaughter, Rosa Praed, was only five years older, and they became close friends, bonding over common interests including a distaste for constant childbirth and a love of literature. It is probably no coincidence that, a year after Nora did so, Rosa also called her first-born Matilda. They corresponded regularly and intimately, with 66 of Nora's letters to 'My dearest Rosie' surviving - sadly Rosa's to Nora haven't survived. Nora and Rosa were both interested in the women's movement. A play written by Nora was partly about an 'Admission of Female Members [of Parliament] Bill': Professor of English Colin Roderick commented that, while only part survives, 'her talent is clear'.((M-P papers, NLA, Box 7, folder 42.)) Though interested in women's rights, and keen that her daughters have more options than marriage, Nora was no radical. She wrote to Rosa that://I feel so certain that the nineteenth century will not stand such iniquities much longer than every time I go on a voyage I feel (as) a man might do who was going to have his leg cut off in the year before chloroform was invented & who foresaw the invention.. Til I get my cabin to myself I don't mean to agitate about my vote or my seat in parliament - which I can get along very well without'.//((Nora M-P to Rosa Praed, 25 April 1875 (or 1874?), Praed papers QJO, box 4.))\\ | While Nora (and her sister Rose Paterson) resented constant pregnancies over which they had no control, TLM-P 'only gets cross with me ... looks upon it as a sign [of a] free thinking tendency and want of faith' in providence. TLM-P's attitude was that of an older generation of pioneers - a prejudice against 'weedy wives' and a firm belief that a woman's 'chief delight' should be having children and raising her family.((Helen Woolcock et al, '"My beloved chloroform': Attitudes to Childbearing in Colonial Queensland', //Social History of Medicine Journal//, p.443, citing Nora to Rosa, 15 June [1884].)) He thought, Nora complained to Rosa, that 'one ought to feel grateful for what providence sends, even tho’ it costs one’s health, strength and life' (as, she didn't need to add, it had for Rosa's mother).((Nora to Rosa, 16 May [1881])) In contrast, Nora believed that human acts not providence caused so many pregnancies - why hold providence responsible for 'what we take such a large share in bringing about?'.((Nora to Rosa, 16 May 1881, JOL))\\ |
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| Neither woman wished for more than one or two children, with Nora writing: 'Though I can well understand your not wanting any more [children] & trust fervently that if my No. 2 arrives safely, it may prove the last, my precious little Meta flourishes & grows more lovable & clever every day.' Nora's love for Rosa was passed on to her young daughters when they all lived in London. Ruth, her youngest daughter, also wrote to 'Dearest Rosie', signing herself 'Your loving sister'. She was among the family to welcome Rosa's gifts of her latest book, no matter how controversial.((M-P family papers, NLA, Box 4, folder 26.))\\ | As Nora's views sharpened as the size of the already-large family increased, it is fortunate that TLM-P finally accepted her very different views on maternity. He eventually, she wrote to Rosa, accepted that she was not 'his ideal woman' in that sense.((Nora to Rosa, 3 December 1883)) Time was also on Nora's side. She was not alone in her attitude. Despite no equally significant advances in contraception, family size would soon plummet as women demanded control over their own fertility. The statistics are dramatic: married women born |
| | * - in the 1840s, same decade as Nora, had an average of 6.8 children; |
| | * - those born in the 1870s had an average of 4.2 children; and |
| | * - those born in 1903-08, averaged 2.6 children.\\ |
| | Given this change cannot be explained by any significant advance in contraception, contemporaries believed and historians agree, that the drop was due to women's demand to limit their childbearing.((Peter McDonald, Lado Ruzicka and Patricia Pine, ‘Marriage, fertility and Mortality’, in //Australians. Historical Statistics//, ed. W. Vamplew, Sydney: Fairfax, Syme & Weldon, 1987, p.42.)) Despite their different outlooks, TLM-P tried to minimise her distress during the repeated pregnancies which Nora found so hard. His attitude was, as he wrote to her circa 1880, 'Don't fret. Keep well & do what you like.'((M-P family papers, NLA MS 7801, 14/71.)) \\ |
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| Nora was highly distressed with yearly pregnancies, having she wrote to Rosa, a 'morbid horror' of large families.((Nora to Rosa, 27 July 1879 cited in Helen Woolcock et al, '"My beloved chloroform': Attitudes to Childbearing in Colonial Queensland', //Social History of Medicine Journal//, p.443.)) Given given the pro-natalist environment she lived in, it is not surprising that, while she considered 'people with large families are much to be pitied', she was 'not sure' that 'they who have none are not even worse off'.((Nora M-P to Rosa Praed, 28 February 1882, Praed papers QJO.)) Similarly, she tried to ruefully accept child-bearing as her 'mission' in life, in order to 'replenish the land'.((Nora to Rosa, 16 My 1881, QJO)) Certainly, she have reason to be wary of drastic measures, telling Rosa that she knew a woman who 'tried to abort her baby ... killed herself in the process.((Nora to Rosa, 27 September 1884.))\\ | Nora was highly distressed with yearly pregnancies, having she wrote to Rosa, a 'morbid horror' of large families.((Nora to Rosa, 27 July 1879 cited in Helen Woolcock et al, '"My beloved chloroform': Attitudes to Childbearing in Colonial Queensland', //Social History of Medicine Journal//, p.443.)) Given given the pro-natalist environment she lived in, it is not surprising that, while she considered 'people with large families are much to be pitied', she was 'not sure' that 'they who have none are not even worse off'.((Nora M-P to Rosa Praed, 28 February 1882, Praed papers QJO.)) Similarly, she tried to ruefully accept child-bearing as her 'mission' in life, in order to 'replenish the land'.((Nora to Rosa, 16 My 1881, QJO)) Certainly, she have reason to be wary of drastic measures, telling Rosa that she knew a woman who 'tried to abort her baby ... killed herself in the process.'((Nora to Rosa, 27 September 1884.))\\ |
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| Her despair at her repeated pregnancies probably went beyond pure logic, but one reason was that each additional child she had detracted from TLM-P's ability to establish his existing sons with property or a profession of their own or to provide an income for the daughters (despite Nora's own example, earning their own living never seemed an option for any of the daughters). All the evidence is that she was a loving mother, and flippant comments should not be taken out of that context, as in a letter to her husband from Lausanne in 1888, that it was a matter of 'great self-reproach & sorrow to me that I should have brought into the world so many children to share the small means. I could dispense with the five youngest with happiness'.((check quote and context,?M-P family papers, NLA MS 7801, Box 4, folder 20, Nora to TLM-P, 18 April 1888.? NLA)) She was not alone in making such comments in this age of profile child-bearing. The novelist Charles Dickens, for example, wrote in reaction to the birth of his tenth child, that 'on the whole I could have dispensed with him'.((Edgar Johnson (ed), //Letters from Charles Dickens to Angela Burdett-Coutts 1841-65//, London, Jonathon Cape, 1953, p.198.))\\ | Nora's despair at her repeated pregnancies probably went beyond feeling sick or pure logic, but one reason was that each additional child she had detracted from TLM-P's ability to establish his existing sons with property or a profession of their own or to provide an income for the daughters (despite Nora's own example, earning their own living never seemed an option for any of the daughters). All the evidence is that she was a loving mother, and flippant comments should not be taken out of that context, as in a letter to her husband from Lausanne in 1888, that it was a matter of 'great self-reproach & sorrow to me that I should have brought into the world so many children to share the small means. I could dispense with the five youngest with happiness'.((check quote and context,?M-P family papers, NLA MS 7801, Box 4, folder 20, Nora to TLM-P, 18 April 1888.? NLA)) She was not alone in making such comments in this age of profile child-bearing. The novelist Charles Dickens, for example, wrote in reaction to the birth of his tenth child, that 'on the whole I could have dispensed with him'.((Edgar Johnson (ed), //Letters from Charles Dickens to Angela Burdett-Coutts 1841-65//, London, Jonathon Cape, 1953, p.198.))\\ |
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| Nora's confiding in Rosa was probably the only outlet she had to comfortably express her concerns about so many children. The women of Boonah district around //Maroon// had a very similar fertility pattern. Although Nora was 5.5 years older than the average bride, she became pregnant immediately and had more children than the average woman: 8 children in 13 years. The district average was 7.76 over 16 years; rural (white) Australia's average number of children was 5.79 and nationally the average was 5.31 children.((Helen Woolcock et al, '"My beloved chloroform': Attitudes to Childbearing in Colonial Queensland', Social History of Medicine Journal, p.443))\\ | Nora's confiding in Rosa was probably the only outlet she had to comfortably express her concerns about so many children. The women of Boonah district around //Maroon// had a very similar fertility pattern. Although Nora was 5.5 years older than the average bride, she became pregnant immediately and had more children than the average woman: 8 children in 13 years. The district average was 7.76 over 16 years; rural (white) Australia's average number of children was 5.79 and nationally the average was 5.31 children.((Helen Woolcock et al, '"My beloved chloroform': Attitudes to Childbearing in Colonial Queensland', Social History of Medicine Journal, p.443))\\ |
| A factor in Nora's attitude towards her pregnancies was that childbirth in Queensland was highly dangerous, more so than in Europe or the southern colonies. Nora's fear of dying in childbirth was well-founded. In 1878 the maternal death rate peaked at one mother dying for every 188 live births - and this figure excludes later deaths from birth injuries. For most of Nora's child-bearing years, her chances of dying in childbirth were around 1:200.((Kay Saunders and Katie Spearritt, 'Is there life after birth? Childbirth, death and danger for settler women in colonial Queensland', //Journal of Australian Studies//, 29, June 1991, pp.64-79.)) In Queensland in 1875, 55.2 mothers died for every 10,000 births; in 1885 the figure was 59.1:10,000 births.((Helen Woolcock et al, '"My beloved chloroform': Attitudes to Childbearing in Colonial Queensland', Social History of Medicine Journal, p.443)) Additionally, the chances of the baby dying was high: in 1857, nearly 10.5 per cent of infants died (excluding indigenous births).((Ross Patrick, A History of Health & Medicine in Queensland 1824-1960, St Lucia: University of Queensland Press, 1987, p.31.))\\ | A factor in Nora's attitude towards her pregnancies was that childbirth in Queensland was highly dangerous, more so than in Europe or the southern colonies. Nora's fear of dying in childbirth was well-founded. In 1878 the maternal death rate peaked at one mother dying for every 188 live births - and this figure excludes later deaths from birth injuries. For most of Nora's child-bearing years, her chances of dying in childbirth were around 1:200.((Kay Saunders and Katie Spearritt, 'Is there life after birth? Childbirth, death and danger for settler women in colonial Queensland', //Journal of Australian Studies//, 29, June 1991, pp.64-79.)) In Queensland in 1875, 55.2 mothers died for every 10,000 births; in 1885 the figure was 59.1:10,000 births.((Helen Woolcock et al, '"My beloved chloroform': Attitudes to Childbearing in Colonial Queensland', Social History of Medicine Journal, p.443)) Additionally, the chances of the baby dying was high: in 1857, nearly 10.5 per cent of infants died (excluding indigenous births).((Ross Patrick, A History of Health & Medicine in Queensland 1824-1960, St Lucia: University of Queensland Press, 1987, p.31.))\\ |
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| Nora's modernity also showed itself in her rejection of pain in childbirth. For numerous reasons, pain had traditionally been seen as beneficial.((for an excellent summary, see Helen Woolcock et al, '"My beloved chloroform': Attitudes to Childbearing in Colonial Queensland', //Social History of Medicine Journal//, pp.448-53)) Dr Henry Lightoller, a grandson of Matilda's sister Rose Haly, had an opposing attitude. Nora M-P strongly disapproved of his refusal to offer pain relief in childbirth, even to his own wife Minnie who had a deformity which meant childbirth was agonising. The only time he allowed Minnie chloroform was when he needed to use instruments to birth the baby. Nora, as she wrote to Rosa Praed, considered '//Dr Lightoller is a staunch opponent of Chloroform tho' his chief argument against it seems to be the cowardice of taking it which I think is a question for the sufferer to decide, and could not help telling him what I felt keenly, that were it a misfortune to which both sexes were liable chloroform would have been given years ago. He looked astounded at my venturing to discuss the subject, looking on it as becoming in a man and a doctor to lay down the law – for women ‘theirs is not to reason why – theirs but to suffer and die - a view of the case against which I, as one of the suffering class, protest vehemently. He is a good little dogmatic man, skilful in his degree and he has the best wife that ever trod shoe leather - but I wish she would no be so submissive as regards chloroform//.’ Nora went on to say that Minnie told her '//that she had been 12 hours in the most fearful agony, at the end of which they had given her chloroform which had brought it on so they could use instruments//'. Nora's view was that she //'would want to know a very good reason why before I would suffer like that in deference to my husband's general principle and it stands to reason that she would recover better if she were not so long ill and in pain//'. She was indignant that Dr Lightoller had made Minnie promise not to expect chloroform unless it was necessary for him to use instruments.((Nora M-P to Rosa Praed, 3 April 1881, M-P papers, JOQ, OM81-71.)) The reasons for Dr Lightoller's reluctance to use chloroform was influenced by the common religious view that women were ordained since Eve to give birth in pain, and/or concern about its safety. It was also in keeping with the general reluctance of Brisbane Hospital doctors to use anaesthetics even for amputations and other major surgery even years after its use was routine elsewhere.((John Tyrer, //History of the Brisbane Hospital and its affiliates. A pilgrim's progress//, Brisbane: Boolarong Publications, 1993, pp.61.))\\ | Nora's modernity also showed itself in her rejection of pain in childbirth. For numerous reasons, pain had traditionally been seen as beneficial.((for an excellent summary, see Helen Woolcock et al, '"My beloved chloroform': Attitudes to Childbearing in Colonial Queensland', //Social History of Medicine Journal//, pp.448-53)) Dr Henry Lightoller, a grandson of Matilda's sister Rose Haly, was a traditionalist as far as childbirth pain was concerned. Nora M-P strongly disapproved of his refusal to offer pain relief in childbirth, even to his own wife Minnie who had a pelvic deformity which meant childbirth was agonising. The only time he allowed Minnie chloroform was when he needed to use instruments to birth the baby. Nora wrote to Rosa Praed that 'Dr Lightoller is a staunch opponent of Chloroform tho' his chief argument against it seems to be the cowardice of taking it which I think is a question for the sufferer to decide, and could not help telling him what I felt keenly, that were it a misfortune to which both sexes were liable chloroform would have been given years ago. He looked astounded at my venturing to discuss the subject, looking on it as becoming in a man and a doctor to lay down the law – for women ‘theirs is not to reason why – theirs but to suffer and die - a view of the case against which I, as one of the suffering class, protest vehemently. He is a good little dogmatic man, skilful in his degree and he has the best wife that ever trod shoe leather - but I wish she would no be so submissive as regards chloroform.’ - though how she could effectively oppose her husband/doctor was not stated.\\ |
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| | Nora went on to say that Minnie told her 'that she had been 12 hours in the most fearful agony, at the end of which they had given her chloroform which had brought it on so they could use instruments'. Nora's view was that she 'would want to know a very good reason why before I would suffer like that in deference to my husband's general principle and it stands to reason that she would recover better if she were not so long ill and in pain'. She was indignant that Dr Lightoller had made Minnie promise not to expect chloroform unless it was necessary for him to use instruments.((Nora M-P to Rosa Praed, 3 April 1881, M-P papers, JOQ, OM81-71.)) The reasons for Dr Lightoller's reluctance to use chloroform was influenced by the common religious view that women were ordained since Eve to give birth in pain, as well as concern about its safety. It was also in keeping with the general reluctance of Brisbane Hospital doctors to use anaesthetics, even for amputations and other major surgery, years after its use was routine elsewhere.((John Tyrer, //History of the Brisbane Hospital and its affiliates. A pilgrim's progress//, Brisbane: Boolarong Publications, 1993, pp.61.))\\ |
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| Nora did not live with many of the rights we now take for granted, including control over her own children. After TLM-P's death, her brother Charles (Charlie) Barton was one of her trustees; it was her trustees who, as Charles bluntly told Nora, were responsible for her young children. Given gender divisions, he considered he knew best when it came to her sons. In 1896, four years after TLM-P died, he informed Nora that her 'boys are acting the goat in Brisbane ... they being boys [are] full of nonsense spirits are kicking over the ropes'. With the youngest 10 years old, they were, he insisted, getting beyond her control and should be sent to a good boarding school; he suggested Ipswich. He then appealed to her maternal concerns: that it was 'a matter of supreme importance that your boys should get every advantage.' He was not advising something he would not do to his own children: he'd just sent his three daughters to boarding school and as soon as his sons shed their milk teeth, 'off they go too'.((M-P family papers, NLA, Box 4, folder 22.)) Nora had little choice, but accepted his advice.\\ | Nora did not live with many of the rights we now take for granted, including control over her own children. After TLM-P's death, her brother Charles (Charlie) Barton was one of her trustees; it was her trustees who, as Charles bluntly told Nora, were responsible for her young children. Given gender divisions, he considered he knew best when it came to her sons. In 1896, four years after TLM-P died, he informed Nora that her 'boys are acting the goat in Brisbane ... they being boys [are] full of nonsense spirits are kicking over the ropes'. With the youngest 10 years old, they were, he insisted, getting beyond her control and should be sent to a good boarding school; he suggested Ipswich Grammar. He then appealed to her maternal concerns: that it was 'a matter of supreme importance that your boys should get every advantage.' He was not advising something he would not do to his own children: he'd just sent his three daughters to boarding school and as soon as his sons shed their milk teeth, 'off they go too'.((M-P family papers, NLA, Box 4, folder 22.)) Nora had little choice, but accepted his advice.\\ |
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| As far as her daughters were concerned, Nora was radical and utterly determined that they would not be financially constrained to marry. In one of a number of similar statements, she replied to Rosa's query '//how I am going to get them husbands. I am going to bring them up to be happy old maids. If the husband comes, well and good - but if he does not come, they shall not feel their lives wasted and spoilt. Nor will they take the wrong man as better than none. They are to be taught cooking and sewing and all household accomplishments, be thoroughly versed in modern languages and be put in the way of reading and enlarging their own minds rather than crammed with facts//.'((Nora M-P to Rosa Praed, 22 December 1878, Praed papers, QJOL))\\ | As far as her daughters were concerned, Nora was radical and utterly determined that they would not be financially constrained to marry. In one of a number of similar statements, she replied to Rosa's query '//how I am going to get them husbands. I am going to bring them up to be happy old maids. If the husband comes, well and good - but if he does not come, they shall not feel their lives wasted and spoilt. Nor will they take the wrong man as better than none. They are to be taught cooking and sewing and all household accomplishments, be thoroughly versed in modern languages and be put in the way of reading and enlarging their own minds rather than crammed with facts//.'((Nora M-P to Rosa Praed, 22 December 1878, Praed papers, QJOL))\\ |
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| All the seven surviving children of this second marriage shared equally in a bequest of £28,000 in their father's will. The income from this bequest was substantially less than TLM-P would have hoped because, when he died, Australia was experiencing a severe depression and then suffered from a prolonged drought. As well, his estate had to absorb a significant loss of money on the //Aberfoyle// property. By 1905, the interest on their £4,000 each earned them £72 p.a. - or around $10,809 in 2018 values.((https://www.rba.gov.au/calculator/annualPreDecimal.html)) This was fine for the sons as it added to their income; less so for the (all unemployed) single daughters who relied on their mother's financial support.((TLM-P, Last will and testament, 1892 and Legal opinion re Trusts of the Will of Thomas Lodge Murray Prior Decd, 11 November 1905 and 11 June 1940, copies with J. Godden. check re 4keach x 7))\\ | All the seven surviving children of this second marriage shared equally in a bequest of £28,000 in their father's will. The income from this bequest was substantially less than TLM-P would have hoped because, when he died, Australia was experiencing a severe depression and then suffered from a prolonged drought. As well, his estate had to absorb a significant loss of money on the //Aberfoyle// property. By 1905, the interest on their £4,000 each earned them £72 a year - or around $10,809 in 2018 values.((https://www.rba.gov.au/calculator/annualPreDecimal.html)) This was fine for the sons as it added to their income; less so for the (all unemployed) single daughters who relied on their mother's financial support.((TLM-P, Last will and testament, 1892 and Legal opinion re Trusts of the Will of Thomas Lodge Murray Prior Decd, 11 November 1905 and 11 June 1940, copies with J. Godden. check re 4keach x 7))\\ |
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| **For more details of these children and their descendants, click on the sidebar entry.** \\ | **For more details of these children and their descendants, click on the sidebar entry.** \\ |