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| nora_m-p [2026/01/25 13:30] – [Pregnancies] judith | nora_m-p [2026/01/25 21:45] (current) – judith |
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| All photos, unless otherwise stated, are from Nora's photo album.((Provenance: J. Godden.))\\ | All photos, unless otherwise stated, are from Nora's photo album.((Provenance: J. Godden.))\\ |
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| On 18 December 1872, a little over four years after Matilda died, the widowed TLM-P married again.((//Sydney Morning Herald//, 19 December 1872)) His second wife was Nora Clarina Barton (3 December 1846-12 May 1931).((She was baptised on 10 February 1847 according to Emily Mary Barton's family bible, Jeremy Long to J. Godden 6 May 1993. Nora's baptismal sponsors, according to the same source, were her uncle and aunt Nathaniel and Honoria Barton, and her father's cousin Lady Clarina (nee Susan Elizabeth Barton 1819-86, daughter of Hugh Barton who managed the family's Bordeaux wineries. Susan Barton married a distant cousin Eyre Massy who succeeded to the Irish title of [[wp>Baron_Clarina|Baron Clarina]] in 1810.)) | On 18 December 1872, a little over four years after Matilda died, the widowed TLM-P married again.((//Sydney Morning Herald//, 19 December 1872)) His second wife was Nora Clarina Barton (3 December 1846-12 May 1931). Her unusual second name was due to one of her godmothers. According to her mother's family bible, Nora was baptised on 10 February 1847 with her godparents listed in the bible as her uncle and aunt Nathaniel and Honoria Barton, and her father's cousin Lady Clarina.((Jeremy Long to J. Godden, 6 May 1993, about the Barton family bible)) The latter was nee Susan Elizabeth Barton 1819-86, daughter of Hugh Barton who managed the family's Bordeaux wineries. Susan Barton married a distant cousin Eyre Massy who succeeded to the Irish title of [[wp>Baron_Clarina|Baron Clarina]] in 1810.\\ |
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| It was common for colonial widowers to remarry within five years of their first wife's death, and to marry younger single women.((Peter McDonald and Patricia Quiggin, 'Lifecourse transitions in Victoria in the 1880s', //Families in Colonial Australia// ed. P. Grimshaw, C. McConville and Ellen McEwen, Sydney: George Allen & Unwin, 1985, pp.74-75.)) But in this case, the age difference was at the extremes. Nora was 27 years younger than her husband and only two years older than her eldest stepson. It was not an easy relationship for any of the family to manage, but it appears to have worked. It helped that Nora gave, to her eldest stepdaughter Rosa Praed at least, the impression of being placid,((Helen Woolcock et al, '"My beloved chloroform': Attitudes to Childbearing in Colonial Queensland', Social History of Medicine Journal,p.440)) although her correspondence suggests that, while ultimately pragmatic, there was a great deal of introspection and emotional turmoil behind her calm surface.\\ | It was common for colonial widowers to remarry within five years of their first wife's death, and to marry younger single women.((Peter McDonald and Patricia Quiggin, 'Lifecourse transitions in Victoria in the 1880s', //Families in Colonial Australia// ed. P. Grimshaw, C. McConville and Ellen McEwen, Sydney: George Allen & Unwin, 1985, pp.74-75.)) But in this case, the age difference was at the extremes. Nora was 27 years younger than her husband and only two years older than her eldest stepson. It was not an easy relationship for any of the family to manage, but it appears to have worked. It helped that Nora gave, to her eldest stepdaughter Rosa Praed at least, the impression of being placid,((Helen Woolcock et al, '"My beloved chloroform': Attitudes to Childbearing in Colonial Queensland', Social History of Medicine Journal,p.440)) although her correspondence suggests that, while ultimately pragmatic, there was a great deal of introspection and emotional turmoil behind her calm surface.\\ |
| Part of Nora's success as a second wife and stepmother was her adaptability, boosted by her having had a much less sheltered life than many middle-class women in the Victorian age.\\ | Part of Nora's success as a second wife and stepmother was her adaptability, boosted by her having had a much less sheltered life than many middle-class women in the Victorian age.\\ |
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| ===== Nora's family and early career ===== | ==== Nora's family and early life ==== |
| Nora's parents were Emily Mary Barton (nee Darvall) and Robert Johnston Barton. Matilda and Nora had one thing in common: their fathers were both not-very-successful graziers. Robert Barton's property, where Nora was born, was Boree Nyrang near Orange in western NSW.((David Rutherford, //Boree Nyrang: the story of a property and a family home// Forster: David Rutherford, c.1998.)) Like TLM-P, Nora's parents had migrated in an attempt to recover their family fortunes. In Nora's case, a grandfather had reputedly been a friend of the Prince Regent (later [[wp>George_IV_of_the_United_Kingdom|King George IV]]), whose extravagant lifestyle and gambling tended to be beyond even his own royal means let alone that of his cronies.((TLM-P, Diary, 27 June 1882)) Nora was one of Emily and Robert's 10 children, one of whom died in infancy. Her mother Emily was left with the responsibility of the children when, in 1863, Robert died unexpectedly. Emily consequently sold the property and moved to Gladesville in Sydney where she lived for the rest of her life.((Judith Godden,//The Matriarch of Rockend: Emily Mary Barton, more than Banjo Paterson’s grandmother//, Ryde History Series No.13, Ryde District Historical Society, 2021.[[http://www.rydehistory.org.au/our-published-works/]]))\\ | Nora's parents were Emily Mary Barton (nee Darvall) and Robert Johnston Barton. Matilda and Nora had one thing in common: their fathers were both not-very-successful graziers. Robert Barton's property, where Nora was born, was Boree Nyrang near Orange in western NSW.((David Rutherford, //Boree Nyrang: the story of a property and a family home// Forster: David Rutherford, c.1998.)) Like TLM-P, Nora's parents had migrated in an attempt to recover their family fortunes. In Nora's case, a grandfather had reputedly been a friend of the Prince Regent (later [[wp>George_IV_of_the_United_Kingdom|King George IV]]), whose extravagant lifestyle and gambling tended to be beyond even his own royal means let alone that of his cronies.((TLM-P, Diary, 27 June 1882)) Nora was one of Emily and Robert's 10 children, one of whom died in infancy. Her mother Emily was left with the responsibility of the children when, in 1863, Robert died unexpectedly. Emily consequently sold the property and moved to Gladesville in Sydney where she lived for the rest of her life.((Judith Godden,//The Matriarch of Rockend: Emily Mary Barton, more than Banjo Paterson’s grandmother//, Ryde History Series No.13, Ryde District Historical Society, 2021.[[http://www.rydehistory.org.au/our-published-works/]]))\\ |
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| Nora may have had another family link to TLM-P: possibly her uncle (from 1877, Sir) [[http://adb.anu.edu.au/biography/darvall-sir-john-bayley-3370|John Darvall]] had been educated by the [[tlm-p_s_childhood|Rev. William Drury]], as had TLM-P.((The //Australian Dictionary of Biography// states that John Darvall was educated at Eton, but Isobel Hannah claimed that he was educated by Drury, Isobel Hannah, 'The Royal Descent of the First Postmaster-General of Queensland', //Queensland Geographical Journal//, vol. LV, 1953-54, p.11. Possibly both statements are correct.))\\ | Nora may have had another family link to TLM-P: possibly her uncle (from 1877, Sir) [[http://adb.anu.edu.au/biography/darvall-sir-john-bayley-3370|John Darvall]] had been educated by the [[tlm-p_s_childhood|Rev. William Drury]], as had TLM-P.((The //Australian Dictionary of Biography// states that John Darvall was educated at Eton, but Isobel Hannah claimed that he was educated by Drury, Isobel Hannah, 'The Royal Descent of the First Postmaster-General of Queensland', //Queensland Geographical Journal//, vol. LV, 1953-54, p.11. Possibly both statements are correct.))\\ |
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| ==== The marriage ==== | ==== Marriage ==== |
| TLM-P had a strong need to remarry: to provide a stepmother for his eight surviving children, the youngest of whom (Egerton) was 6 years old. Yet Nora's maternal suitability was not his only consideration. There is a letter from TLM-P to Nora nine days before they married - handle it carefully as it is still smoking with passion! TLM-P's letter was desperate as it appears Nora had cold feet, most likely because she became aware of his illegitimate children: he implored her to have faith in him as a husband, underlining 'I love you. I want you'.((M-P family papers, NLA MS 7801, Special Set 14, folder 20)) She believed him enough to go ahead with their wedding at St Anne's Church of England,[[wp>Ryde,_New_South_Wales| Ryde]] on 18 December 1872. One of the witnesses to the wedding was TLM-P's daughter Lizzie.((BDM, registration number 3393/1872; St Anne' Parish Register, microfilm 0110, Society of Australian Genealogists.)) The day before, TLM-P signed a marriage settlement ensuring her an income in widowhood, with her two sisters' husbands as trustees.((TLM-P, Last will and testament, 1892. As noted above, after Henry Martin moved to England with a cloud over his reputation, TLM-P got him to renounce his role as trustee ((Diary 5 July 1882, ML.))\\ | TLM-P had a strong need to remarry: to provide a stepmother for his eight surviving children, the youngest of whom (Egerton) was 6 years old. Yet Nora's maternal suitability was not his only consideration. There is a letter from TLM-P to Nora nine days before they married - handle it carefully as it is still smoking with passion! TLM-P's letter was desperate as it appears Nora had cold feet, most likely because she became aware of his illegitimate children: he implored her to have faith in him as a husband, underlining 'I love you. I want you'.((M-P family papers, NLA MS 7801, Special Set 14, folder 20)) She believed him enough to go ahead with their wedding at St Anne's Church of England,[[wp>Ryde,_New_South_Wales| Ryde]] on 18 December 1872. One of the witnesses to the wedding was TLM-P's daughter Lizzie.((BDM, registration number 3393/1872; St Anne' Parish Register, microfilm 0110, Society of Australian Genealogists.)) The day before, TLM-P signed a marriage settlement ensuring her an income in widowhood, with her two sisters' husbands as trustees.((TLM-P, Last will and testament, 1892. As noted above, after Henry Martin moved to England with a cloud over his reputation, TLM-P got him to renounce his role as trustee ((Diary 5 July 1882, ML.))\\ |
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| ===== Stepchildren ===== | ===== Stepchildren ===== |
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| As well as having these eight children of her own, seven of whom survived infancy, Nora was stepmother to the eight surviving children from TLM-P's first marriage to Matilda Harpur - making 15 in total. While many of these children had significant problems as adults, notably alcoholism, her relations with them were generally positive. It is significant that the level-headed eldest son of the family, Thomas de M. M-P, appreciated his stepmother. One piece of evidence is a two-volume book by the explorer Henry Stanley,((//Through the Dark Continent//, London, 1878. Provenance: J. Godden.)) which he gave to Nora with, as he wrote in them, his 'best love'. Nora also demonstrated her goodwill when she named her first daughter Matilda. Her choice of second name Aimee (meaning beloved) could apply to both Matildas.\\ | As well as having these eight children of her own, seven of whom survived infancy, Nora was stepmother to the eight surviving children from TLM-P's first marriage to Matilda Harpur - making 15 in total. The older stepchildren were a similar age to Nora. While many of these children had significant problems as adults, notably alcoholism, her relations with them were generally positive. It is significant that the level-headed eldest son of the family, Thomas de M. M-P, appreciated his stepmother. One piece of evidence is a two-volume book by the explorer Henry Stanley,((//Through the Dark Continent//, London, 1878. Provenance: J. Godden.)) which he gave to Nora with, as he wrote in them, his 'best love'. Nora also demonstrated her goodwill when she named her first daughter Matilda (always called Meta). Her choice of second name Aimee (meaning beloved) could apply to both Matildas. It is probably no coincidence that, a year after Nora did so, her eldest stepdaughter Rosa Praed also called her first-born Matilda (always called Maud). Rosa and Nora bonded over common interests including a love of literature and a distaste for constant childbirth. Nora, as with others in the family, welcomed Rosa's gifts of her latest book, no matter how controversial. They corresponded regularly and intimately, with 66 of Nora's letters to 'My dearest Rosie' surviving - sadly, Rosa's to Nora haven't survived. Nora's love for Rosa was passed on to Dorothy and Ruth, her two youngest daughters. In their letters, Rosie was 'Dearest Rosie' and they signed themselves 'Your loving sister'. ((M-P family papers, NLA, Box 4, folder 26.))\\ |
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| Nora's eldest stepdaughter, Rosa Praed, was only five years older, and they bonded over common interests including a distaste for constant childbirth and a love of literature. Nora was among the family to welcome Rosa's gifts of her latest book, no matter how controversial it was. It is probably no coincidence that, a year after Nora did so, Rosa also called her first-born Matilda. They corresponded regularly and intimately, with 66 of Nora's letters to 'My dearest Rosie' surviving - sadly Rosa's to Nora haven't survived. Nora's love for Rosa was passed on to her young daughters when they all lived in London. Rosie was 'Dearest Rosie' in Dorothy and Ruth's letters, and they signed themselves 'Your loving sister'. ((M-P family papers, NLA, Box 4, folder 26.))\\ | |
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| ==== Pregnancies ==== | ==== Pregnancies ==== |